The Return Of The Evil Jiggle Butt Gang!
by XxCherryXJellyxX
Summary: The truly evil Jiggle Butt Gang has snuck onto Lucy's train and tries to hijack it! To her surprise though, she is not the first to try and fight. It's non other then Laxus Dreyar! So what will she do when he gets knocked out? Crazy Jiggly laughter ensued with LaLu ;p! [One-Shot] (rather T for a little bit of Pervert Laxus)


**Author Note: Please read!**

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**Hey there Lovelies!**

**So, this is going to be very stupid! But hopefully it'll make you laugh! I based this on the picture of the cover. I loved it and just had to write something about it! And being the crack shipper I am, I had to add LaLu! **

**Warning:**  
**I do not own Fairy Tail, Hiro Mashima does! (Love ya bae!) **  
**Characters might be a little OOC!**  
**Just for fun play the Fairy Tail soundtrack; Lucy and the power of the celestial spirits, to this story. It'll give it a little extra ridiculousness!**

**I hope you like it and makes you smile! **

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A whistle blew, signalling the departure of the train. Girls and boy waved their lovers goodbye, a few people made a last mad dash for the doors and the children stared out of the windows with excitement. It was a rather nice day to take the train actually. The sun was shining bright, she sky was clear and the route they were taking was past a beautiful landscape. Everyone smiled in joy at the wonderful day they were having, but! No one seemed to notice a skin-tight latex clad trio sneaking onto the train, sniggering at each other.

* * *

A beautiful blond stared out of the window with a small smile gracing her lips. Her, normally tied up hair, hung is loose curls over her shoulders. Her big chocolate brown eyes scanned the passing landscapes as her hand brushed over her keys. She got a mental message from her dear spirit friends that they had arrived safely back in their realm and that they were all healed up. She chuckled as she heard them give her their usual antics, beautiful bodies, love declarations, punishment requests and death threats. Jup, they were all back to normal.

Lucy had just finished her solo mission and was taking the train to head back home. She couldn't wait to see her friends again and tell them how well she had done. She had been training with her spirits to enhance her strength and magic abilities. So after some vigorous workouts with Loki and Capricorn she had deemed herself strong enough to go on a mission alone. It had taken a lot of convincing on her team's part. All of them had been against it, stating that they knew she was strong and capable, but that they would feel much better if someone went with her. She had rejected their suggestions and said that she had to do this alone. They might see her as their little baby sister, but she wasn't. She had to learn to be capable of doing things alone and had to learn to stand strong on her own. Her team had begrudgingly accepted her request, although still not completely at ease. She had even heard Natsu suggest they chain her up in her apartment so that she couldn't go on her own or to follow her. Erza had then promised her she would keep an eye on the two, while secretly whispering if she could not follow her. Lucy had laughed and told them she would be fine.

The mission she took was quite simple, take out a few non-magical bandits. She took them out easily, tracking them had taken two days though, but nonetheless she had defeated them. Also since Natsu wasn't there to destroy anything she had gotten the full reward and was now able to pay her rent fully for once. She had to admit though, it was rather boring without her team. She often got annoyed by their crazy and irrational antics, but it had grown to her. The quiet was nice, but it wasn't enjoyable. She giggled slightly as she remembered Happy wailing at her departure at the train station. They made it look like she was leaving for good. But now that she was heading back she could see them all again and tell them how well it went. She had also promised Cana, Mira, Erza, Levy, Lisanna, Wendy, Juvia (who didn't agree without questioning her about Gray) and Evergreen to have a girls night when she came back. They said it would be a celebration for her first solo-mission. They had all pestered her that they thought the day would never come, seeing how clingy her team was. Erza had dismissed the thought and commented that they were only worried about her.

Lucy sighed with a smile on her face, only a few more hours and she would be back home. This was a good day!

* * *

"So could you explain the plan once more?" one of the latex clad men whispered at their leader.

The man in the middle sighed and brought his hand up to his face, "Whatever would you do without me," he commented and turned serious, "Oke, I'll explain once again. This train is full of rich passengers who are heading to Magnolia for the annual summer fest. If they are rich it must mean they have lots of money on them. So first we hijack the train by taking out the conductor, then we will make everyone line up and give us the money!" he said proudly and smiled in self-satisfaction.

The two lackeys looked at each other questionable and frowned, "But boss, what if there are mages?" lackey B commented.

The leader's face fell and he gave them a stern look, "Then we'll take them out of course! We are the truly evil Jiggle Butt Gang! We can take out any mage with ease," he said and took a proud stance again.

Both lackeys perked up and nodded, "Yes boss!" they said and gave him a thumbs up.

"Oke, now let's sneak into the machinists room to take out the driver!" the boss said and headed towards the exit of the storage space.

They exited and luckily found that there was one unused passenger cart between the storage space and the machinists room. They sneaked behind the benches, inching closer each time while muttering, "Sneak, Sneak." They peeked through the little window of the door and saw two men operating the train. They snickered and the leader pushed the door open.

He dashed forward and stuck his butt out, "Point Blank… Ecstasy!" he shouted and let out an explosion of gas into both conductors' faces.

The wrenching smell invaded their nostrils and before they could warn the passengers, they passed out from the horrible smell. The Jiggle Butt Gang smirked in triumph and went over to the control board.

"So which one puts the train to a stop?" Lackey A asked as he peered at the hundreds of little nobs and switches.

The leader stared at the board with confusion and sweated slightly, "Let's just pull the handbrake," he said after much staring and walked over the emergency stop lever.

He pulled it and the train came to a screeching halt. The leader stood over the mike and turned it on, "This train is now in possession of The Jiggle Butt Gang! If you all want to live, I suggest you from rows in your cart and take out your money!" he shouted through the mike.

* * *

Lucy shot up from her daydreaming and her eyes widened. ' !' she thought in horror as she remembered the three latex clad villains she had dealt with before.

"And no funny business!" she heard him add through the mike.

She frowned and jumped up from her chair. Brushing her hands over her keys warning them that she about to fight she slammed the compartment door open. She saw a few terrified passengers scurry to get their possessions.

"Everybody calm down! I am a mage from Fairy Tail and I will handle this, stay where you are," she said and helped an elderly woman sit back down.

"Be careful miss!" a few people shouted as she dashed through the carriages.

'They should be still in the first carriage since they only just announced it,' she thought to herself and pulled open another door. She made her way through several carriages, telling the people to stay calm, before she came to a storage compartment. She peered through the little window of the door and saw the Jiggle Butt Gang, but to her shock they were not the only ones. Laxus Dreyar was facing them with his arms crossed and a snarl on his face. Her eyes widened as she saw the Jiggle Butt Gang form their butts in a triangle, that could only mean one thing.

She hastily knocked onto the window, "LAXUS GET OUT OF THERE!" she shouted and he turned around while his eyebrow quirked up a little.

"Secret Jiggle Butt Art: Gas-Butt Triple Ecstasy," The Jiggle Butt Gang shouted in unison and a tornado of explosive gas erupted from their butts.

Laxus' head shot back to the trio and he took a fighting stance. The gas shot towards him and invaded his nose. His eyes widened as his heightened sense of smell quadrupled the ghastly smell of their attack and he tried to cover his nose. He took one last glance at Lucy, who had a terrified look on her face, before he passed out of the gut wrenching smell.

Lucy shrieked as he collapsed on the floor. Laxus Dreyar, the strongest mage in Fairy Tail, had just been taken out by the Jiggle Butt Gang. She couldn't believe it, those thieves sure did have a terrifying power. She glanced back up and saw the Jigglies open the door and try to haul Laxus' body out of the door. She looked out of the window and saw to her shock that they had stopped on top of a bridge.

Without thinking she slammed open the door and held her hands up, "Wait!" she shouted with a bright red face.

The trio looked up in shock and let Laxus go, "Who are you? Are you trying to stop us, because this is what happens to those who try to stop us," the boss said and pointed at the lightning mage.

Lucy started sweating and shook her head, "Wha? N-No, I am not trying to stop you," she stammered. "I-I just was wondering if you could live knowing you had someone else's blood on your hands," she said quickly and pointed at Laxus.

They all raised a brow and glanced at the fallen mage, "What do you mean?" they asked in unison.

She gulped and pointed out of the window, "He is unconscious, so if you push him out of the cart he will drown," she explained.

They looked out of the window and shrugged, "Then we won't throw him out, we'll just lock him up," Lackey B said and pulled out a pair of chains.

"But now, we must defeat you to!" the boss said and pointed at her.

Lucy started sweating and held her hands up, "W-Wait! Why are you doing this? Is this all worth it?" she stammered and prayed to god she wouldn't have to be gassed.

They frowned at her questions and leaned forward, "You want to know things about us?" they asked suspiciously.

She gulped again and nodded, "Y-Yes! Why are you doing this, haven't you aspired to ever be something else," she said while trying to muster a smile.

"REALLY?!" they all shouted as comical tears streamed down their faces.

Lucy tried to hide her grimace, "Y-Yes," she said hesitantly.

The boss clasped his hands together and pulled her into a sitting position, "Well, it all started when I was three," he started.

Lucy's eyes widened and she had to keep it her all from protesting. This was certainly not a good day anymore!

* * *

"And that's how we all ended up here," the boss finished and wiped away a tear with a tissue.

Lucy shot up from her semi-sleep and quickly nodded, "I totally understand now," she lied. "But why don't you just turn your live around and start a new path?" she suggested with a desperate smile.

They looked up at her with teary smiled and nodded vigorously, "We will!" they cheered and Lucy sighed in relief.

"Thank Mavis," she muttered and hung her head low.

"So here's your costume!" they cheered suddenly.

Lucy looked up with a startle and stared at the latex suit in confusion, "What?!"

They smiled at her and clasped her hand, "Well you will have to guide us along the path of goodness, so you will have to join us," Lackey B explained and held the suit up again.

"Yes, otherwise we will have to blow up the train," the boss said casually and motioned around him.

She blushed furiously and looked around her for an escape route. But then she remembered Laxus, who was still unconscious, and all the other passengers. She couldn't just let them get a full blow of fart in their face, she would have to do it and pray to god Laxus might wake up with a plan.

* * *

The smell was still around him, clouding his nostrils. Not as bad as first, but it was definitely still there. How the hell did he even get in this predicament? He had just taken a simple solo mission to get away from his teams crazy antics and now he was here. On a train, smelling like shit. Then he remembered that the farting idiots still hadn't been defeated and that Lucy was just outside. Oh god, what the guild would do to him if their favourite celestial would be hurt. It was no secret that everyone had a soft spot for the blond girl. He would be lying if he said that he didn't, because he did. She was just so full of joy and sweetness you just could not not like her. So he groggily opened his eyes and tried to move his arms. He felt that he was chained and by magical restraining chains nonetheless. He silently cursed and looked up.

He saw three huge latex butts facing him and he had to keep himself from gagging. But then when he turned his head to the right slightly he saw a rather sublime ass. Nice round butt cheeks that looked awfully well in the latex suit, unlike the three idiots. His eyes travelled up and he had to keep his jaw from falling to the ground. The fourth Latex clad person was no other than the favourite celestial mage from Fairy Tail. She was blushing furiously and hand her arms wrapped tightly around herself. He secretly let his eyes roam her body a few more times, before he looked back up. The three idiots were fawning over her and coming awfully close, making him let out a growl in annoyance.

Lucy looked down in shock as she saw the scowling face of Laxus, "Laxus!" she called out happily and crouched down beside him. She wrapped her arms around him to help him up and made him lean against a bench.

'Clean thought, clean thoughts, clean thoughts," Laxus repeated in a mantra as she wrapped her arms around him, the suite making him feel every soft curve of her body. He nodded, but kept his mouth shut.

"Don't feel pity for him, our goddess," Lackey B shouted and pulled her off of him, much to Laxus' annoyance.

Lucy tried to smile and held her hands up again, "Don't worry he is from my guild. He's not a threat," she said.

'The hell I am. I am going to kick those idiots' asses!' Laxus thought, but again kept his mouth shut.

"But you are part of our group now! You don't have to be in a guild," the leader said and held the hand where her mark was on.

She quickly retreated her hand and frowned, "I can't just leave my guild!" she said, even though she never was going to join them anyway.

The Jiggle leader sighed while his Lackey's eyes took a dark glint. "We can't let another one of our goddess' leave again," he said in a slightly darker tone.

Then, at a speed she was surprised he could make, he picked her up by the waist and slung her over his shoulder. His Lackeys made quick work of binding chains around her hands and ankles.

Lucy gasped in shock, "Hey! What are you doing?!" she demanded and tried to wiggle free. To her surprise again, she found that he had a strong and firm grip on her, making it unable for her to struggle.

"We will not let another goddess escape," he said and turned to his Lackeys. "Lackey A, Lackey B! Let's go!" he said and started walking.

"Laxus help!" Lucy pleaded and looked up at the shocked lightning mage.

Laxus snapped out of his daze of shock and Lucy's ass and tried to break the shackles around his hands. He watched in horror as Lucy got carried away by the trio. He let out a growl and pulled with all his strength on the shackles. The metal chain between them snapped and he jumped up.

"Get back here you idiots!" he shouted and they turned around in shock.

He dashed forward and snatched Lucy from the boss' shoulder. He held her closely to his chest and let out a growl. "You messed with the wrong mage," he sneered and raised his fist.

"Formation Lackeys," the boss shouted and they took a triangular shape with their butts.

"Laxus," Lucy said worriedly from her squished position between his chest and his arm.

"Thunder Bullets," Laxus said as a few dozen lightning orbs shot from his hands and hit the Jiggle Butt Gang before they could finish their attack.

They fell with cries to the ground, their muscles still twitching from the shock. Lucy beamed and hugged Laxus' side, "You did it!" she cheered and he chuckled at her, still repeating his mantra as she squished her body into his.

"No problem Blondie, just one question," he said and she nodded. "Why are you wearing their clothes?" he asked and pointed at the black suit. "Not that you don't look good in it," he added with a smirk.

Lucy blushed crimson and pushed herself off of his chest, "They were going to gas the whole train and throw you off the train! I had to improvise and then they said I had to join them or they would still blow the whole train up with their fart," she explained quickly, avoiding his smirking gaze.

He boomed out in laughter and petted her head, "And this was the only way?" he asked and gazed down at the ashamed blond.

"Like I said! They would fart!" she shouted and tried to slap his hand away.

He let out another laugh and smirked again, "So where is my prize for saving you?" he said and pulled her close again.

Lucy blushed even more, if that was possible, and pushed his face away, "P-Pervert! Besides I was the one who saved you first," she retorted and gave him a stern glare.

His smirk did not waver and he inched closer, "Then I should give you your prize then, shouldn't I?" he whispered and crashed his lips on hers.

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**Wow, I think that was the weirdest thing I have written up till now XD I don't really know what to say about it!**

**Please Review, Favorite and Follow if you liked it!**

**Thank you all and have a nice day. Myess Myess velly nice!**

**I'll read you next time ;) **


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